girl

 

by the swish of my hips 

by the toss of my hair 

i’m the kind of girl 

you’ll begin to see everywhere 

 

strong legs 

and a warm heart too 

do not cross these lines 

i am enough woman for you 

 

added notes: 

furthermore 

i am enough woman for me 

finding myself running away 

from whatever i may become 

and yet the most comforting thing 

the best feelings 

have always been inside me 

 

i can be vulnerable 

i will not hide my feelings to protect you 

i will tell you how deeply i love you 

i will tell you how much you lie to yourself

because you think you are happy 

 

it is the woman in me 

that keeps going 

the fire that keeps sparking 

the hope that spreads 

giving when it’s not deserved 

taking when it is 

and finally 

 

it is the woman in me 

that wants more for you 

but i cannot move mountains 

that refuse to shift 

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to my mother

 

the strongest woman i know 

///

i forget a lot of things, mom 

i forget we grew up on the same streets 

i forget we smiled at the same storefronts 

and laughed along the same lights littering Central 

 

but i remember a lot of things too, mom 

i remember we hurt the same hurt 

i remember we laugh the same laugh 

i remember you and i taking on the world as it is as it was and however it may be 

 

i like to distance myself from us often 

i like to pretend we don’t have issues 

but i always miss you more 

 

as if it were two people of the same mind 

heads working just in time 

always getting the exact same line 

and that is the ultimate understanding 

 

you frustrate me you annoy me 

you’re the one person i can be myself with 

you’re everything i love and simultaneously despise 

and i want to grow up to be whatever the world has made you 

strong, resilient, smart, beautiful, funny, 

100% woman 

 

i pray to god i don’t disappoint you 

Fin

 

you have to let it go 

like a bunch of balloons 

each one a different memory 

a different feeling 

a different special thing 

let them collect in your hand 

gather them all very neatly 

go through every end and open line 

grab, grab, grab 

hold them tightly like you’ll never let go 

and then,

release 

continually do this 

every time a balloon pops up out of nowhere 

and hits you with the force of a lightning bolt 

i ask you, acknowledge it’s presence 

and let go

only then will you heal 

truly, completely, heal

resign to the fact nothing is ever permanent 

and that new balloons will replace the old ones 

and watch how you grow 

nighttime

 

i lie under the covers 

legs bare insides outside 

feeling every ounce of bliss 

the light glows softly amongst the room 

who are you? 

 

head is weightless 

floating around on this soft cloud 

where am i right now? 

 

gates are down for once 

this is new and everything 

but this feels great 

and i want it like anything 

do you get what i mean? 

 

and yeah sure i’d like an idyllic daydream 

but real life is so much better 

all the pauses and chatter 

bounces around in my head 

like a washer on spin cycle 

around and around it goes 

homecoming

 

i come from 

99 cent store lipgloss 

from open fields of 

businesses that would never be 

 

busted out laughter 

racing down Ramona 

no sidewalks only the curb 

the curb where she’s cried i’ve cried 

where we shared ice cream and 

carried the weight of living on our shoulders 

 

i come from lower class 

from crowded streets and messy yards 

the couches that sit on the corners 

the cops visit around often but we don’t mind them now 

 

mindless walks and endless talks 

under the power lines 

under the poorly lit street lights 

scared out of my mind down the street 

in the front yard, 2am, never felt more free

prague spring

 

i need it now 

i want it fast 

can feel my brain 

heading straight for collapse 

 

it moves so quickly 

like a serpent 

thoughts going at speeds 

indy 500 dreams 

 

just wanna slow down 

tell me everything is ok now 

wanna fall into that abyss 

with you? maybe 

take it all in 

 

without you? never